Self-development, self-help, positive thinking books, movies, podcasts, coaches and all kind of gurus and tips are just blooming nowadays. A lot of people even go further and quit their jobs and lives and decide to run away to find themselves….. Feeling bad or anxious or not very well is baned and considered as something that one should not talk about and just avoid the subject. But the reality is that not everything and every day is roses and unicorns. I do not pretend to know all about it, not at all, I even struggle to take care of myself sometimes, but in order to find the best possible way to handle my own shit, I am going to put in writing all my thoughts and enlightenment on that thing. Am I on the right path or all I am saying is a complete bullshit…It’s up to you to decide…
It happened to all of us just not feeling well without any particular reason. On the surface, it looks like everything is fine, but a big black hole opens inside….What the hell is going on here, I have my job, my partner, my home, my friends, my car, all the necessary stuff to feel and be awesome…But that’s just not the case.
Very often, these depressive states are simple alarms that our inner “self” send us to point out that a change is needed. Unfortunately, the signal is often misunderstood. If a depression comes to visit us, it means it’s time for a change – to stop working too much, to have a rest, to learn how to enjoy life, not forget to appreciate people around us and so on. A depression is considered as something really bad, but on the long run is actually a blessing. It just takes time to come to this conclusion. As Elizabeth Gilbert writes in her book “Eat, pray, love”: “Ruin is a gift, ruin is the road to transformation”. Depression or not feeling well morally means you are on your way to change.
All words, all quotes, all good advice are good and true, but how to deal with all these feelings, anxiety, anger, desire to cry while the change is making its way? You have to continue to go to work, to do the groceries, to support your family and friends, no matter how you fell and very few are the lucky ones that can stay at home and endure the pain.
That’s the reason why I would like to talk about re-building yourself. This describes what is it all about. Here are some tips to overcome a little bit the shitty feelings on a daily basis.
1. Consult a specialist. The first and the ultimate thing to do. Friends and family members will be there for you, but they will give you unprofessional advice based on their own experience and that won’t make you feel better in the long term. Consulting a specialist is not easy as in some cultures/ countries it’s considered being crazy…So a hard decision to make..but necessary. And you’ll feel much much better after the first visit.
2. Exercising helps a lot. Especially outdoor sports. Jogging outside can save you from your own thoughts and reduce dramatically the pressure. Thanks to yoga and meditation, you’ll be able to shut down your own flow of thoughts and stop overthinking. Or just stop thinking too much…..
3. Reading books, watching movies, seeking help from peers has its beneficial effects and are positive forms of distraction as well. Use them carefully and don’t be influenced by everyone or everything coming your way…
4. Take action. Or just do one little something every day. Make a to-do list to keep yourself busy or just active. This is a very powerful tool as we all need to do something. If you manage to do a list with your tasks for the day and accomplish them all, you’ll feel a great amount of joy even happiness. And this will help you in your endeavour.
5. A lot of people think that hyperactivity will make them forget about everything. I am a big enemy of hyperactivity. For me, that’s the shortcut to depression. It’s overrated nowadays and leads to exhaustion. Doing a lot of stuff, having a lot of friends, being somewhere all the time, being occupied with exciting things without allowing yourself a time to relax and enjoying your own company is just too much to bear…
6. Be ready to give up on things or people on your way to rebuild yourself. You will change, as your perception of life, beliefs, important things, friendships. Not all your friends and people you care for will appreciate the new you…and the new you will not like all your old friends…So keep in mind that, but don’t worry….the cleanup actually will do its job….
7. Write. Having a diary or just a notebook can be a door to understand yourself. It can be a way to exteriorize all the heavy luggage you keep internally only for yourself. Just take a pen and write down how you feel. It is not meant to be a high-level literature and fancy, it’s meant to help you rebuild yourself.
8. Set a routine of activities. Routine is considered being boring, but….a big but here….it helps you to organize your day and to prioritize what to think about – work, groceries, family time. It’s a kind of a compass to show you what to do, what to care about and makes you feel useful and contributing to bigger projects as work progress and family happiness.
9.Smile, smile, smile. Smile to the world and it will return your smile back to you. Smile to yourself and for yourself. A smile can efficiently fight one’s bad mood, creates an easy-going rapport with others and makes you look more likeable in the eyes of your peers. Think about it and…smile!
10. Give yourself time alone. It might sound weird, but try to listen to your inner voice or your soul’s voice. Get rid of all the noise around and go for a walk and talk with yourself. Treat yourself the same way you would treat your best friend. Be your best friend and appreciate your own company!
Hope my own enlightenment will give you an idea how to fight crapy feelings. Do not hesitate to share your story..you don’t know who it can help and put on the way of joy!
Thanks for reading!